Magic December

Kate Bush is so right: there's something magic about December...
It's the snow, covering our dark and cold world up in white, making it shine again. It's all the candles, making any room feel warm and homey. It's the smells: of special Christmas cookies or mulled wine, of spices and incense. It's the sound of favorite Christmas songs or, if I'm very lucky, of crunching snow, and it's so much more in connection with the most important feast of the year in this part of the world.
Having grown up with both German and Swedish Christmas traditions (both countries being almost Christmas-addicted) I am very much into decorating, preparing special foods, beverages and sweets, but most of all: I adore just cuddling up inside among candles, with something nice and warm to drink and a good book to read, while it's dark and cold outside.
The magic of December is enchanting me every year, and I enjoy it all the way into January :-)
And what about the reason for this feast, the birth of Jesus Christ? My reason might be a bit different, but the core is still the same...

Snow in a warm light

The Art of Stopping

This time of the year is often very hectic. Loads of things to arrange, Christmas preparations and events, and I'm not even talking about presents... At work meetings and deadlines are piling up - everybody wants to round of important tasks before the festive days start.
It's easy to be dragged along in this speedy tempo, and start running around at an ever increasing speed with your shoulders under your ears.
That's when it helps a lot to just STOP. Proper Stopping is an art, and it has to be practiced frequently in order to really enter your system.
Whenever I feel I'm just racing and my mind starts to get blurry I force myself to STOP: I stand still and breathe deeply twice. I empty my mind and let go of the tensions in my body.
When I pick up the tasks at hand afterwards I have slowed down enough to be able to - smile :-)

Grandma's Message

Everybody that enters my life is here to teach me something.
This became very evident at the funeral of grandmother Anna. I felt the need to say a few words, to express my gratitude for having been a small part of her life, and I wanted to thank her for her positive influence on me.  What was essential in her life and has become essential in mine, too.
It's the message of love and care: one of our most important missions here on earth is to take care of each other. We are not only here to live our own little lives - there is a much bigger picture and we can only manage the important tasks in life if we help and support each other.
Thank you Anna for being such a good example. Thank you for leaving such a beautiful message.

Take a Leap

For some time I have been wanting to change jobs, do something different, something more "meaningful". I had eagerly followed one trail, but finally it lead nowhere. That left me somewhat subdued... What now?
Then I realized that there are some changes I can do in the very situation I'm in. It's not about getting another job. It's about how I do the job I have! It's about how I live my everyday life.
I know in what direction I want to go. I have a very clear picture of that. It's just that some kind of ... laziness?... hinders me from really walking that path. Because walking that path requires discipline and full concentration.
So standing at the end of that lost trail I understood the lesson: I don't need to change anything in my life situation, I need to change how I live. And I know what to do: take a leap!
I will double my concentration, and double my efforts. With all my energy I will sort out unnecessary things and actions, actively diminish time wasted carelessly. I will concentrate on living each moment in full awareness.
Thank you Life, for showing me. Now it's up to me to leap!

Wake Up To Gratitude

My colleague S came to lend me a book. "Since you're so interested in Colombia, you might find it worthwhile to read. Once I started, I couldn't stop reading it", she said. It was "Même le silence a un fin", where Ingrid Betancourt tells the story about her being kidnapped and held as a hostage by the FARC guerilla in Colombia during 6 long years.
My spontaneous reaction was "No, thank you" - I wasn't sure I was up to such a cruel story, to so much suffering. But I didn't want to be impolite, so I took the book and started reading. She was right: once you picked it up, you couldn't put it away, despite the horrifying story.
I almost think I needed that book: every now and then I have to be shaken up a bit, forced out of my comfort zone. If not for any other reason, then at least to realize what a fantastic life I live, how extremely lucky I am to be safe, healthy - and free.
I am so filled with gratitude. Thank you, Life, for letting me to exist under such good circumstances. I want to show my gratitude by living this life in a caring and generous way and by not holding anything back.

Goodbye

We knew that Grandmother would soon leave us. At ninety three she had caught pneumonia, her body did not respond to the antibiotics and she had stopped eating. She had decided to go.
By "coincidence" I got the chance to see her on Monday.  She slept the whole time, I just sat by her side, holding her hand and gently patted her cheek and softly talked to her. At one point she woke up and was happy to see me. She seemed at peace.
Friday night a very caring lady from the old people's home called and told me Anna had quietly passed away. Luckily I was with my oldest daughter when the message came; so good for both of us.
Anna was a wonderful person with a very big and warm heart, and she leaves such a void among us, her small family, but also among all the countless people she helped and served during her long career as a doctor.
We all miss you very much, Anna, but I agree with my daughter: "if there's a paradise, that's where Anna is now". And we are happy for your sake.

With Tenderness and Light

Yesteray's Quote

In a beautiful little book by Thich Nhat Hanh (Buddhist monk, peace activist, and poet) I read inspiring quotes at breakfast.
Yesterday's quote just needs to be passed on. It's called The Best Moment of Your Life.
"If someone were to ask us "Has the Best moment of your life arrived yet?" we may say that it will come very soon. But if we continue to live in the same wait may never arrive. We have to transform this moment into the most wonderful moment, and we can do that by stopping - stopping running to the future, stopping worrying about the past, stopping accumulating so much. You are a free person, you are alive. Open your eyes and enjoy the sunshine, the beautiful sky, and the wonderful children all around you. Breathing in and out consciously helps you become your best - calm, fresh solid, clear, and free, able to enjoy the present moment and the best moment of your life."
In the train to work I tried to convey this feeling to all the sleepy fellow travelers, half-reading free newspapers. And even if I did not succeed in doing that, I myself felt very calm, fresh, solid, clear, and free.

Wonderful Source of Inspiration